MYTRIA CONTINUES:
Last night I dreamt that I was inducted into the military. I even woke up and fell back asleep to the same dream. Are these really dreams, or are they messages from a higher part of my self that I cannot remember? I have started to meditate regularly and I have been keeping a journal. In fact, I am thinking about starting a Blog. It makes me nervous to "come out" in this fashion, but I find that when I am honest about what is happening inside of me I feel much better.
Before these dream experiences began I was quite depressed. I was getting up in the morning, going to a job that robed my limited energy, and coming home to watch the TV made me feel dead inside. Of course, I still have the same job because I need money. However, now when I come home the TV stays off because I have been searching the Internet to try to understand what is happening with me.
In fact, I have found that many people are having similar experiences as me. They are not sure about who they really are. However, they are sure that the person they are acting like is not the truest expression of his or her self. It appears that many people are having dreams similar to mine. They may not be going to a Starship, but they are doing something that is far more important than their daily lives.
Therefore, I have decided to start my Blog. I am just a regular person with a non-significant job. I am not married. I am not in a relationship, and I do not have children. In fact, I do not have much that brings me happiness in this world, and I was very depressed before my dreams began. Maybe I have advanced from depression to psychosis, but at least I am happy. Well, at least, I am happier.
I wonder if I should talk about my dreams in my Blog. I imagine that will be proof of my craziness. However, right now I would rather find purpose than be who I was before the dreams. The tall blond man with the blue eyes, who I now know as Mytre, still follows me around--in my imagination that is. What I mean is that Mytre seems to be with me at random points of my day.
No actually, these are not random points. Mytre seems to come into my awareness when I am feeling sad or lonely. Maybe I am crazy and just have created an imaginary lover, but it is better than living in constant sorrow and loneliness. In fact, Mytre tells me about another reality that he says I also live in. I don't think I should talk about that in my Blog or everyone will know for sure that I am psycho.
I wonder if my military dream has anything to do with Mytre. I remember that he was wearing what looked like a military uniform in my dream. I also remember the tall blue person and the person with the third eye. In fact, whenever I think about that dream I remember more and more of it. I wish that I could have another one of those dreams. Maybe last night was a failed attempt to create another dream like before.
Do we create our dreams, or are they just something that comes up from our unconscious while our conscious mind is sleeping? Can it be possible that our unconscious life can be real? I think I should leave that kind of stuff out of my Blog—at least at first. OK, rather than just talking to myself, I am going write a little bit of my Blog right now—before I loose my nerve...
Dear Readers,
I thought about whether or not I should have a special name for my Blog, but I realized that I am not a special person. I am just a regular person who has a regular job and a regular life. If that sounds boring to you, you are right. That life was very boring. However, some pretty weird things have been happening to me, which has, at the very least, diminished my boredom and the resulting depression.
I do not know how much nerve I have to talk about the details of my dreams yet, but I do have enough courage to promise you that I will be totally honest in everything that I say to you. “You,” being those who read this Blog, if anyone does read it? I know that I am only one of the thousands of people who have Blogs on the Internet. Therefore, my Blog is not a special thing. But, as I have said, I am not a special person. I am just a regular person who is living a regular, usually boring life.
Now that is all the complaining I will do—I promise. I am sure you have heard plenty of complaining; I know I have. Therefore, I will cease and desist all complaints and move on to why I have started this Blog. When I searched the Internet to find more about my experiences, I found that many others were having experiences similar to mine.
In fact, I have seen many other people that look just like me, a regular person, when I have entered my dream world. Therefore, I was thinking that it would be wonderful if any of you would like to connect with me via my Blog. But I guess it is too soon for that. First I must tell you what has been happening to me. Then if you are having similar experiences, and I assume that others are, maybe we can help each other by sharing our stories.
Therefore, I am writing this Blog to offer a free, anonymous place where you can share any unusual dreams or weird experiences. As I said, I am just a regular person. In fact, I don't remember being weird when I was young. In fact, now I that I say that, I can't really remember too much about being young or a child. I have images in my brain, almost like they were put there, but I have little attachment to them.
It appears that recently something happened in my life, my dreams or just my imagination that has created a whole new manner of my self-image. I mean, I think I finally have a self-image. Before, I was a member of a very large crowd, like one of the many birds in a large flock. However, I was not flying in the sky and I was not a member of a flock. In fact, I had few friends. I was alone.
I was alone in at work, alone a home and alone in a crowd. I might have been having a conversation with someone right next to me or on the phone, but still, I always felt alone. This feeling of being alone felt unnatural, but that made no sense. I could not remember not being alone, but I could not remember very much at all. It was like my life was so insignificant that it was not worth remembering.
However, I started having dreams in which I was a member of a group of very different Beings. I say "Beings" because some did not appear to be human. OOPS, I told myself that I would not divulge too much about what is happening. Oh well, now that the "cat is out of the bag" I actually feel better. These nightly meetings have been going on for several months now, and they have completely changed my life.
Well, actually, my life is the same, but these meetings/experiences/fantasies have brought me a sense of belonging. Even if these occurrences are not real, they feel as real as my waking life. In fact, I feel more awake in these dreams than I do when I am walking through my boring physical reality like some kind of zombie.
Actually, I have complained too much about my life. It is a good life in that I have a job, I have friends and I have things that I do with my friends. However, I can't date too much because it feels like I am cheating on some one that I do not even know. I wonder is that person is Mytre? That is, I wish it was Mytre.
Well, I have rambled on enough for now. What I really want to say is that if any of you are also having any "weird" experiences, this is a safe place where you can talk about them. In fact, if you want me to anonymously post your experience, I will happily do so. I know how wonderful it is to have another life that is fulfilling and fun, even though it is just our imagination.
So, maybe together we can all create an imaginary world in which we can freely talk about all the experiences we are having but can’t share with the other people we know. We are all anonymous here, except for me. I have been anonymous my entire life and it is far too lonely. I am thinking that being judged as being crazy may be better than never being noticed.
Now, I am going to meditate on my dream of being inducted in the military. Oh, by the way, I do not think it was this military, at least I hope not. If I am to be inducted in the military, I want it to be one that explores the Universe and spreads peace, not one that searches the Earth to start a war.
http://suzanneliephd.blogspot.com
No comments:
Post a Comment